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| By: Shane Ritchie, CFSP |
A few years ago I arranged a direct cremation for a gentleman whose children were in charge of his disposition. I would estimate that his three children were all in their twenties. It was obvious that this was all new to them.
“Dad was a free spirit;
he wouldn’t want a public ceremony or any ceremony at all for that matter. We
just want to scatter his ashes on the beach.”
OK. Fair enough. But
what about a permanent place of memorialization?
“Why would we need
that? We remember dad for who he was. We don’t need a stone in a cemetery to
remember our dad.”
During our conversation
I began to notice a lot of “we” and “I” entering the discussion so I inquired
about dad’s friends, grandchildren, future generations who might want to know
about their roots. The blank looks on the faces around me told the story. They
had never even given any thought to matters like that. The fact that funerals (and anything associated with
them) make people feel uncomfortable often seems to be their justification to
re-invent the ritual, trying to turn it into something that is more pleasant
and/or efficient (though not necessarily effective), or worse yet, dispensing
with it altogether.
One of my hobbies is genealogy. Tracing my ancestry gives me a sense of
continuity and adds meaning to my life. Visiting the graves of my kinsman is a
spiritual journey for me. When there is no permanent memorial, a person
eventually just ceases to exist. A wise man once said “Memorials are stepping stones to the past and to the
future; they link the generations.”
As
a funeral director, I feel that a major part of my job is educating the public
about such things as the importance of ritual and memorialization through ceremony
and monuments. There is a reason
that humans have held funeral rituals and practiced permanent memorialization since
the beginning of time. I believe that we all have an innate, God given need to
honor and memorialize the dead. By sidestepping this need we are doing a disservice
to our emotional well-being and to future generations.
For a free booklet on arranging
meaningful funerals, call us here at Beard Mortuary at 304-522-8253. Visit us online at www.beardmortuary.com and www.facebook.com/beardmortuarywv
